My Graduation Story

“What did you have achieved for the three years you spent your times as student of university?’ I asked myself. I need the answer from myself to myself. I remembered the time when I knew that my application to continue my study as bachelor was rejected. It is not once, but twice. Twice times I have seen my application start with Sorry and not congratulations. But finally I am proud to say that UiTM had accepting my wish to be one of their students. As for the three years I became the student of AS201, I am proud to say that I have survived all the challenges. I have combating all my personal challenges. I felt like a proud soldier that won the battle of assignments and projects.

For these three years, I couldn’t believe how I survived every single day. Every morning I woke up with fear feeling. I am scared that my lecturers will ask me to present the topics. I hate presentations. Presentation is like my nightmare. I am scared that I have to take quizzes and exams. Everything is suck for me in my first year. I am student with no confident. I am student who are not friendly. I have nothing special in me. I am student that all the lecturers forgot what my names. Sometime I thought of changing my name that people will be easier to call me likes Tasha shila ke, Siti nurhaliza ke kan.. My names are not common so yeah maybe that was one of the factors why they don’t remember me. I also thought that maybe I am not beautiful so they are not pay attention much to me. Maybe. Maybe I am the only one that makes beauty as one of the way how people easily recognized you.

Bullshitting my lack of confidence and my insecurities, I could say that I am pretty good in my classes. During my second years, I always worried for my final year project. That’s scared the most when you’re university student. Or maybe I am the only one who wished that there are no FYP. I always wonder what to be researched? Who will be my supervisor? How to talk to my supervisor? What if she or he is garang nak mampus nanti mampus pulak aku. What if my supervisor is so strict that she could make me fail? Yeah, that’s questions play in my mind every time. That’s happen when you are overthinking. The questions will never fail to pop out in your mind.

My FYP was the most critical phase of my life as a student. I cried a lot that my eyes running out of tears when my callus didn’t show up. I thought that I can’t survive. I can’t do it no more. Maybe my journey will and should stop here. Maybe I should die. Yup, Me being pathetic. What I didn’t realize was I got super awesome supervisor. Hey my supervisor was one of the important person in my university. What the f that I finally can end up with her. My destiny chose her. It is miracle how pathetic and unconfident student like me pairing with great lecturer like her. She guides me when I need her. What I proud the most was not all student have a gut to see and talk to her but I can meet her anytime I want (Even though most of the time I couldn’t find her in her office.) Thanks to her I could complete my FYP.

My support systems are not only my supervisor. Not forgotten is my mother. Throughout the journey, our bond becomes stronger. I feel the need of her when I can’t carry out some tasks. Even though she have no ideas of what the hell that I studied, but just so she knows her presence made me calm. Usually she annoyed me with all the calls and all her ‘tak boleh’, but I miss her. And then I am annoyed with her again. That’s what made my life so colourful I guess.  Today since I meet her everyday, I hate her because she always nagging to me because I don’t want to eat. And because of her nag, I think I successfully gains 10kg. Thanks to my mother. Lol. And she continues said that I am skeleton. Yeah with this 10KG GAINS AND NOT 10 POUNDS you think you still can call me skeleton????????? Marah ni marah.. Thanks for the free food anyway. I will find decent (LOL) and high paid job. And I will buy you the bags you want. Yup, bags with s. Because I achieved the degree to repay you even I knew that I can’t ever repay all the goodness and the comfort you give to me. Even if I live for 200 years more, your willingness to give me a good life, your effort to raise me as a single mother and your love that never stop showering me can’t never be repay. Finally all your children are degree holders.

“No language can express the power and the beauty and heroism and majesty of a mother’s love.”- Edwin Hubbell Chapin.

Lesson learned. Love your mother no matter what you go through and no matter how much you argue and annoyed because in the end, she’ll always be there for you. I hope I have the chances to be just like her. To guide and to love my babies unconditionally till my last breath. Eh :P

Last but not least, here come my superman, my batman, my ultraman, my captain yoo  si jin, my sweetie cutie pie my intan payung pengarang jantung my heart my macam macam lagi penat nak my my sangat. Thank you. To be with you, I feel blessed. I love you my bontot sexy macam david beckham. K k gerak lu papeww roger. Kahhh.

Oh emgeeee. I almost forgot to thanks my friends. Just like the last day we’re not officially ex housemates, I said to you guys thanks for making me laugh a little louder, smile a little brighter and live a little better. Thanks for running, walking, jogging, crawling, jumping, rolling in the deep and fuck the obstacles together. Yeah if you know what I mean lol. Thanks for accompanying me eating, shopping, cheating, copy pasting,  and dating. Kehkehhhh . Macam macam je lagi ala tapi bukannya korang bakal terbaca blog aku pon so, malas lah cerita pepanjang.

Ok tamat. J